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That's Not What I Meant!
If you love to think about things like ask vs. guess culture, you'll love this book, which explains how conversational misunderstandings tend to arise because of crossed wires over unspoken metamessages. In a telling (and exhausting) example from the book, a couple argues over salad dressing. Joe: What salad dressing should I make? Frank: Oil and vinegar, what else?Frank intended his "what else?" to be self-deprecating; "I'm boring, you know me, I like the same kind of salad dressing every
The version of this I saw was an Audible audio version that was actually abridged. While normally I really dislike that, in the end it turned out to be a good thing. Even in the abridged version the examples felt a bit forced or overdone at times, and as such the condensing of them to the central points and the focusing on recommendations and key points felt much more useful. Having encountered some of the author's work before most of what was in here wasn't new for me, and the examples felt
I read this book through reasonably fast, and the only reason why I could do this, was because the book was written in a manner that is easy to read. The points that she raised are fantastic, and I could really relate to the examples that she gave. It is a book that is well worth keeping, reading and absorbing.There is not too much by way of strategies for improving your communication. Initially, I was a bit disappointed, but then I realized that this is something that each individual has to
This book used a narrative style that reminded me a lot of Chapman's love language books: the short explanation of the concept in general, and then two or three little stories about "John and Marcy" told to exemplify the concept. It's very easy to digest, easy to understand, and for how short and brief this book is, I think it manages to get across quite a few complex concepts. The core message (that misunderstandings are more likely to be due to difference in style than real ill will, and that
The philosopher Schopenhauer gave an often-quoted example of porcupines trying to get through a cold winter. They huddle together for warmth, but their sharp quills prick each other, so they pull away. But then they get cold. They have to keep adjusting their closeness and distance to keep from freezing and from getting pricked by their fellow porcupines-- the source of both comfort and pain. We need to get close to each other to have a sense of community, to feel we're not alone in the world.
I just re-read this one. It is an essential book for those who interact with others; that is to say EVERYONE. Read this book! Give copies away so everyone can have this information!!! Re-read it and discover more wisdom every time. This book is life-changing.
Deborah Tannen
Mass Market Paperback | Pages: 224 pages Rating: 3.95 | 1390 Users | 123 Reviews
Identify Books To That's Not What I Meant!
Original Title: | That's Not What I Meant! |
ISBN: | 0345340906 (ISBN13: 9780345340900) |
Edition Language: | English |
Relation Concering Books That's Not What I Meant!
Often it's not what you say, but how you say it, that counts. Deborah Tannen, the internationally-acclaimed expert on communication and author of the bestselling YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, will help you recognize your own conversational style and how it meshes or clashes with the styles of others. Entertaining and informative, everyone who speaks will want to read this gem.Present Containing Books That's Not What I Meant!
Title | : | That's Not What I Meant! |
Author | : | Deborah Tannen |
Book Format | : | Mass Market Paperback |
Book Edition | : | First Edition |
Pages | : | Pages: 224 pages |
Published | : | March 12th 1987 by Ballantine Books (first published 1986) |
Categories | : | Nonfiction. Psychology. Language. Communication. Self Help. Humanities. Linguistics. Relationships |
Rating Containing Books That's Not What I Meant!
Ratings: 3.95 From 1390 Users | 123 ReviewsWrite-Up Containing Books That's Not What I Meant!
I feel it is very hard to understand and I couldn't get much from this book.If you love to think about things like ask vs. guess culture, you'll love this book, which explains how conversational misunderstandings tend to arise because of crossed wires over unspoken metamessages. In a telling (and exhausting) example from the book, a couple argues over salad dressing. Joe: What salad dressing should I make? Frank: Oil and vinegar, what else?Frank intended his "what else?" to be self-deprecating; "I'm boring, you know me, I like the same kind of salad dressing every
The version of this I saw was an Audible audio version that was actually abridged. While normally I really dislike that, in the end it turned out to be a good thing. Even in the abridged version the examples felt a bit forced or overdone at times, and as such the condensing of them to the central points and the focusing on recommendations and key points felt much more useful. Having encountered some of the author's work before most of what was in here wasn't new for me, and the examples felt
I read this book through reasonably fast, and the only reason why I could do this, was because the book was written in a manner that is easy to read. The points that she raised are fantastic, and I could really relate to the examples that she gave. It is a book that is well worth keeping, reading and absorbing.There is not too much by way of strategies for improving your communication. Initially, I was a bit disappointed, but then I realized that this is something that each individual has to
This book used a narrative style that reminded me a lot of Chapman's love language books: the short explanation of the concept in general, and then two or three little stories about "John and Marcy" told to exemplify the concept. It's very easy to digest, easy to understand, and for how short and brief this book is, I think it manages to get across quite a few complex concepts. The core message (that misunderstandings are more likely to be due to difference in style than real ill will, and that
The philosopher Schopenhauer gave an often-quoted example of porcupines trying to get through a cold winter. They huddle together for warmth, but their sharp quills prick each other, so they pull away. But then they get cold. They have to keep adjusting their closeness and distance to keep from freezing and from getting pricked by their fellow porcupines-- the source of both comfort and pain. We need to get close to each other to have a sense of community, to feel we're not alone in the world.
I just re-read this one. It is an essential book for those who interact with others; that is to say EVERYONE. Read this book! Give copies away so everyone can have this information!!! Re-read it and discover more wisdom every time. This book is life-changing.
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